Guess what, If you didn't know now, now you do! I had the gastric sleeve on August 16th, 2017. It was my choice and not anyone else's decision. Along the way, I've had amazing support but also a lot of comments that are just annoying and rude. I hope this opens people's minds about judging someone's struggles as your own, or if you've had surgery, maybe you can relate. Well anyway, here goes!
1. I know someone who had this surgery too!
Awesome! Congratulations! I think it's safe to say, we all know that one person who did so and so. Can we move to the next subject? Where do we go from here with this info? Does it truly affect me? Okay cool. I mean I appreciate it when people want to relate or maybe offer advice but at the same time, it can be frustrating hearing this so much.
2. And they gained all the weight back or They look too skinny!
This comment is one I hate the most. When the person goes straight to talking about that persons weight. I feel its one of the most judgmental ones and I'm sure they would talk about me in this way, as well in the future. Personally we all have our own struggles, and each body is different, but who are you to make a comment on someone else's experience and their body size. If you find yourself doing this, maybe you should consider keeping this to yourself.
3. You should try to enjoy your meals more
Ha! Trust me, I would if I could but when your stomach is the size of a banana and full of staples, its just going to hurt and be apart of the process of this surgery. If I didn't want this, then I wouldn't have gotten it! We all do our research and go through complicated procedures to know if we are safe to have this. Doctors do not just hand this out to anyone. I can't help that I have struggles with eating. Don't like it? Don't eat near me. Eating is for energy any way not, enjoyment!
4. You should go the alternative way on diets
Thank you for the advice but I'm doing what my surgeon suggests! When you have a degree in medicine and specialize on the digestive system I might take your cure all remedies seriously. For now, I'll just be nodding and listening. No offense.
5. You should stop complaining about your size
I’m not complaining about my size. I’m thinking about future goals. When I talk about losing weight and being thin, I’m thinking of my future goals. Yes I’m not comfortable in my skin currently, but I’m as comfortable as I’m going to get until I reach my goals. I really dislike it when people are very judgemental about how I feel about my body. I’m not happy. I’m doing something about this. It’s a struggle and I will talk about it. I’m going through hell to meet my goals. I can’t fit in that size two right now, I wish I could but for now I can’t... and I can’t wait til that day. What is wrong with wishing that day would come sooner.
Most people who were thin their whole life’s don’t understand the struggle to being overweight. You get treated differently by everyone, nothing ever fits the way you want it and society hates you. There is a major injustice by the way overweight people are treated, and it needs to be talked about. The last thing we need is skinny people telling us to just get over our insecurities... the day you just get over your anxiety’s and insecurities with the snap of a finger, maybe I’ll listen to you. For now, this is my body and I’m not happy with it. I’m doing something about it.
6. I had surgery too and mine is worse
I’ve actually had someone near me tell me this. I was in utter shock when this person started to compare their surgery to mine. When was this ever a competition? I quote you that person said “Gallbladder surgery is much worse than gastric surgery. I actually had something taken out of me, unlike you.” I’m still baffled to this day at this persons ignorance! All I have to say is the real winner knows there is no competition.
7. I want to do the same diet as you
I had to block my online food diary from people viewing it. My diet is not safe for the average person. I’ve gone through extensive tests including blood work, I have vitamins I have to take, I water and protein goals I have to meet and I do not want to be responsible for someone else’s sickness. This is a serious diet and if you want to copy it, go see a doctor!
8. I’m going to lose weight the old school way
You obviously know nothing about this surgery if you think this is the easy way out. Before you get high and mighty and try to belittle someone undergoing this surgery I hope you realize, that we have tried every workout, every diet but continually gain the weight back. This surgery is not a cure all. You STILL have to work out the “old school” way, you still have to diet the “old school” way. This surgery does 40% of the work but the remaining 60% is up to you. On top of all the work, you get cut open, and may experience complications. By all means, try everything before surgery. Surgery is hard core and not for people looking for an easy way out. Always remember, doing it the “old school” way doesn’t make you any better or special than someone choosing another method. I sadly hear and see people act greater than thou a lot and it’s very hurtful. No need for that.
9. You’re going to have saggy skin
Yeah maybe. Who knows but I’m going to do my best to prevent it and meet my weight loss goals! What are you doing with your life? ;)
10. You are too hard on yourself
I have to be! At the end of the day, I’m in control of my success and I have standards. They may be hard but I have big goals! You may not be as hard and that is okay. Let’s not judge each other.
11. Wow that’s a really crazy goal weight, you sure you can do that?
Yes I can and I will meet my goals. Yeah I want to lose over a 100 lbs but I got this. Watch me.
12.Your losing a lot of weight
I know thanks! I hope this is a complement! :)
13. You shouldn't eat this
Again, I follow my doctor's instructions. This may not be for you but it is for me. Let's not judge others. Some can't tolerate the same things as others.
14. You had the gastric bypass right?? Or lap band?
The gastric sleeve is completely different than the bypass and lap band. No it’s not a sleeve over the stomach. My stomach is cut into a banana shape, and I don’t do any re routing of the digestive intestines. I don’t have a restrictive device like the band either. People quite often get my surgery confused with the other more popular surgery’s. This one works for me! I would suggest that if you know someone who has had gastric surgery to ask them what kind of surgery instead of assuming. I truly get this a lot and it’s quite annoying. I don’t do this to people with cancer and just guess the most popular one every time. Rude.
15. You should have more confidence
To anyone I feel like this is not something you really should just tell someone. They may do things differently than you but it doesn't mean they lack confidence. Also, many people have been trashed by other people, and the media about their weight. They have many reason so not love themselves, but learning to love yourself is a journey, it's not going to be fixed overnight by someone saying "you should have more confidence!"
In conclusion, I don’t mean to sound feisty but for some reason this surgery seems to have a lot of ignorant comments from people who have never had it. I’ve contemplated never telling many people but I wanted to make this post and spread awareness. This is a surgery to fight a major illness called obesity. It’s not easy and other people dont make it easier. I’ve noticed you start to see the real sides of people when you start to better your life. Everyone wants to see you succeed but not more than them. This is a long journey! If you know someone in your life who has the gastric sleeve, maybe consider being more aware of what you say around them and possibly try to be more supportive instead of judging. I’m sure we will all appreciate it.
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